Ever find yourself thinking ‘Well, I should…’ and then not feeling very excited about actually doing whatever that ‘should’ might be?
Have you ever stopped to think about where that ‘should’ really comes from?!
‘Should’ can be a dangerous word that keeps you tied to externally or internally applied expectations… That are often either unrealistic or out of line with your authentic self.
‘Should-ing’ all over yourself is a recipe for unhappiness, anxiety and constant feelings of inadequacy… I ‘should’ know, I’ve done it for most of my life! If you stop to really feel into it, you might have too.
I don’t remember who first shared the little piece of wisdom that ‘should-ing’ on yourself was a destructive dis-ease, but coming from a background filled with expectation, it resonated straight away and has helped me get to the bottom of my drives, ambitions and choices so they’re more aligned and right for me – rather than steeped in guilt, anxiety and unfulfillable expectations.
We all have our ‘should’s’ – don’t get me wrong – I’m all for brushing my teeth and paying my bills! But there’s a healthy line where you can learn to discern between when you’re acting out of unhealthy expectations that limit or burden you and when you’re moving from a space of self love and authenticity.
How will I know if I’m ‘should-ing’ all over myself?!
Before you make your next decision, tap into how you really feel about what you think you want or have to/need to/think you ‘should’ do. What’s the source of your desire for action? Is it intrinsic – a drive that comes from within? If so, is it authentic? Is it really yours? Or is it something you’ve taken on through familial, social or societal programming?
Ask if your desire for action stems from a deep place of self care and respect, a desire for change, achievement or transformation? Are you acting in alignment with your values? Is it in your highest and best good?
How does thinking about ‘it’ make you feel? Uneasy in your gut or light/powerful/connected/happy in your heart? Your body can often provide you with clues when your mind wants to play tricks on you!
Take some time this week to observe how often the word ‘should’ pops up in your thoughts and vocabulary this week – it might surprise you! These simple investigations can help you discern the roots of your conviction and help you own your actions so they serve you in evolving to be the very best version of you!
Wishing you a should-free week!